


The Worst Marauder

by Xx_Astrid_xX



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Gaping, Anal Sex, Anger Sex, Angry Sirius, Awkward Sexual Situations, BDSM, Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dark Magic, Dom Nymphadora Tonks, Dom Severus Snape, Dom Sirius Black, Dom/sub, Dubious Consent, Exhibitionism, Extremely Dubious Consent, Grimmauld Place, M/M, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Poison, Prankster Remus, Rough Sex, Sex, Sex Magic, Sexual Tension, Sirius Secretly Liked It, Sub Remus Lupin, Sub Severus Snape, Sub Sirius Black, Switch Severus Snape, Switch Sirius Black, Urethral Play, Voyeurism, gay bdsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 10:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8529139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xx_Astrid_xX/pseuds/Xx_Astrid_xX
Summary: Thanks to Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Severus Snape are trapped in the dining room of 12 Grimmauld Place together, horny. However, when they refuse to act on their desires, Remus calls upon Tonks to help get them together.





	

        The Order was in session when Remus found the courage to speak.  
        "Sirius, Snape. I'd- after this meeting, I need to speak to you. Both. Alone." Remus swallowed after he finished speaking, and shuddered slightly. Sirius raised a brow and nodded, and Severus looked him up and down, as if pondering whether or not to do such a tedious task as speak to them. After a moment, he waved his hand, and the meeting resumed. Tonks, who stood behind him, squeezed his shoulder supportively. He couldn't believe she'd suggested this.  
        After the meeting had adjourned, everyone other than the three men left the room, Tonks staying alone in the hallway; Tonks was rather crucial in this plot. Remus was bewildered again at the fact his girlfriend had suggested this all.  
        "Well," Snape snapped. "Get on with it,"  
        Lupin stood and walked towards the door. "Well," He said, before looking between an expectant Sirius and an agitated Snape. "Aestus Maxima." Within a moment- before his spell could affect himself- he disapparated.  
        He re-appeared right outside of the door, beside Tonks, watching the magical screen she had produced which showed the men in the room.  
        Sirius cursed as the heat was born inside of him; it started at his neck and blossomed out, until his prick tented his trousers and his skin was slightly red. Desire danced in his loins and he groaned and shuddered twice, eyes closing.  
        "Bloody bastard," hissed Sirius. It was a joke the Marauders had always played on Prongs whenever Lily was around; played on Remus when Emmeline walked past; played on Peter when Marlene talked to him; played on Sirius when he argued with Narcissa. Not that Sirius had ever liked Narcissa; because his goal with any other girl was nearly always to get into their pants.  
        Severus tensed and inhaled sharply as the same happened to him, though it started in his pants. It took him a moment to understand what Remus had done and he sneered in aggravation. Snape had always considered Remus the worst of the Marauders; the others were truly just idiotic lowlife gits, but Remus had some semblance of right and wrong, of a brain, he just didn't care.  
        Remus swallowed and grabbed Tonks' hand, and she squeezed his. Excitement was racing through Remus already; Sirius was so attractive, with his sardonic grins and learned eyes, his long hair and dark air. He was graceful and chaotic, elegant and insane, brave and borderline sadistic; Snape was so angry, and fierce, and murderous, threatening and dangerous and hateful. Remus pitched himself a tent to match the men's in the room.  
        "What in the name of Merlin-" growled Snape, but Sirius interrupted.  
        "I don't know!" Sirius roared, and tried to walk. However, even that act sent pleasure wracking throughout him and he moaned and sagged against the wall, knees up, arms on the ground. "Fuck,"  
        Snape kept himself as still as possible and breathed shallowly. The more he moved, the more the desire consumed him. "Well, how do you stop this?" he spat through closed teeth.  
        "You have to fuck. Wanking doesn't work, it only makes it worse."  
        Snape suffered the consequence, but allowed himself to raise a brow. "Have a lot of experience with this particular spell, eh, Black?"  
        "Shut up and get over here," growled Sirius. "So we can get out."  
        Snape glared and felt his member dance beneath his robe. "Excuse me?"  
        "I said, we have to shag-"  
        "I wouldn't touch you with someone else's pole," snapped Snape. Sirius laughed darkly, without humor.  
        "Don't flatter yourself, Snivellus, the feeling is mutual. But it isn't like we can just sit here, trapped-"  
        Snape stood and groaned, then took a step towards the door and gasped. After another step, he collapsed and gripped himself, which only made it worse. The Slytherin panted.  
        "Remus is more patient than Dumbledore. We will sit here until we rot," Sirius said.  
        "What is he waiting for us to-"  
        "Probably watching," laughed Sirius bitterly. "Old school trick."  
        "You Gryffindors are some sick little fucks," Snape snapped, cursing uncharacteristically.  
        "Kinky, not sick." Corrected Sirius, right before he shifted himself into a position to drag himself towards Snape. He moaned with each motion, but continued until he was about four feet from Snape, then leaned into the wall and breathed heavily, eyes fluttering from the hot pleasure dancing in his chest. He knew if he moved much more, the Dark spell would overwhelm him, and he would be incapable of stopping himself from forcing himself upon the slimy Slytherin.  
        "You're not touching me," Snape proclaimed, glaring Sirius' way. The latter sighed and laughed bitterly before closing his eyes.  
        "Fine, then. Lay on the floor, unable to move, like a giant idiot."  
        Snape growled something Sirius couldn't hear, and then the men fell silent.  
        An entire hour later, Remus was pacing in a circle, chewing on his thumb, and Tonks was dozing in a chair in the hall. "Tonks," Remus said, and the pinkhead became alert with a start.  
        "Yes?"  
        "They've been silent for an hour."  
        "Hmm," Tonks sat forward, eyes tired, thinking. Then, she waved her wand and aimed it at the door. "Aestus Maxima," she said brightly.  
        Sirius surged up and cried out. "Fuck," he moaned. His chest was bubbling over with a pleasure so painful he wanted to die. "Please, Snape," he ground out.  
        But Snape was hit by it, too, and, with a moan, he went limp, body occasionally twitching. His mind was ripping itself apart with need, and he was incapable of any thought at all. He did gasp out, "Now,", or something that sounded that way to Sirius.  
        The Gryffindor took that as consent, as intoxicated as his own mind was by the Dark spell, and threw himself towards the collapsed Slytherin, who was on his side. He pushed him onto his back and tore his clothes off frantically before pushing his lips to his enemy's. Snape's lips moved in response, though it could hardly be considered reciprocation.  
        After a few moments, Sirius tore off his own clothes and spat on his rock hard, seven inch tool, then rubbed it until pre leaked down, lubing him more. He unceremoniously entered Snape without paying any mind to preparing the man, but Remus moaned loudly as his best mate sunk easily into their rival, as if the Slytherin had taken cock plenty times before. Remus knew from experience just how thick that delicious cock was.  
        Sirius pounded animalistically into Snape, who suddenly surged to life and snarled at Sirius. The Gryffindor looked down into Snape's eyes, his handsome face one of concentration.  
        "I hate the very idea of you, you insufferable-" Snape began.  
        "You're suffering through me quite well, so it seems," Sirius said as he buried himself to the hilt inside of Snape, who growled in response.  
        "You're pretty loose, Snivellus. You must be Lucius' nasty little whore-"  
        "You shut your filthy mouth, you-"  
        "Letting him take you where cousin Cissa won't let him-"  
        "Don't know anything about me or what I do, or with whom-"  
        "Probably even dresses you up like a pretty little girl-"  
        "You nasty, filthy, disgusting pervert-"  
        "I reckon that's why you keep your greasy hair so long-"  
        "I wonder if you fuck your friends like this," snapped Snape.  
        Sirius grinned. "You think about me, too?" he said in that obnoxious voice, and smacked Snape unexpectedly on the ass, earning a very sophisticated string of curses. "How sweet, Snivellus. And no, for the record, I like them arse up. You can ask Moony later,"  
        "Can't ask Potter though." Snape hissed. Sirius glared and wrapped a hand around Snape's throat before pulling his wand out with the other.  
        Remus moaned and bit his lip. Tonks was looking between the screen and her boyfriend, amused, and the Gryffindor rubbed himself through his trousers. He knew what that wand was for; he loved it when Sirius called him that; he loved the mention of James, who was the best at oral; he loved the pure animosity between the two men in the dining room. Tonks pulled him out of his trousers and stroked her girlfriend, and Remus gasped loudly as she pumped him.  
        "Guess you'll have to believe me," Sirius said. "Fulgari!"  
        Snape growled as vicious, luminous cords bound his arms tightly behind him. "Fuck you,"  
        "Mhm," Sirius confirmed. "Lubrico," a thick sheen of lubricant poured over onto Snape's erect cock and onto Sirius' wand; the Gryffindor stroked it over his wand and grinned sadistically at Snape before sliding his wand into Snape's urethra.  
        The Slytherin cursed and tried to move, but gasped in pain.  
        "Just lay still, Snivellus," Sirius mocked and started moving the wand in pace with his loud, wet, lewd thrusts.  
        "You fucking repulsive-" Snape began but Sirius interrupted.  
        "Now, now, don't make me use the Engorgement Charm," warned Sirius. Snape hissed soundlessly and glared with hate.  
        Remus grabbed Tonks and picked her up, and she laughed. He sat in the chair she had occupied, held her in his lap, and removed her clothes. He pulled her onto his cock and she started riding him expertly. They positioned themselves so they could keep watching, and Remus moaned as Tonks cast a spell to send invisible fingers plunging into his always ready, slutty arsehole. Tonks giggled.  
        Snape relaxed eventually and moaned as Sirius expertly twirled his wand inside of Snape's prick. "That's right, Snivellus," Sirius growled hatefully. "Just lay there and enjoy."  
        Snape growled a wordless warning.  
        "Tell me how much you like my dick in your ass and my wand in your prick," demanded Sirius, giving the potioneer another harsh slap on the bum. Snape simultaneously growled and laughed in dark amusement.  
        "Do it," Sirius insisted. "Or else."  
        Snape kept quiet, so Sirius ripped his wand out and dodged the stream that erupted from Snape.  
        "You disgusting-"  
        "Langlock," snapped Sirius. "Scourgify."  
        Snape was red in the face from a mix of fury and embarrassment, and his urethra was burning from the assault the sadistic Gryffindor had performed.  
        Remus moaned as Tonks' insides milked him hungrily, her wet heat enveloping him, her magical fingers spreading Remus' entrance wide, wider than a fist, wider than a champagne bottle, making him gape. She cooed sweet nothings at him.  
        Sirius was panting, close to his finish, and so he cast another spell at Snape: "Aestus." The Slytherin cried out as Sirius repeated it seven times, until he was a whimpering, begging mess.  
        "More," Snape gasped repeatedly. "Please, please, fuck me more,"  
        Sirius grinned hatefully down at Snape and smacked him in the same spot twice. "Please, daddy," he corrected evilly.  
        "Please, daddy, fuck me harder!"  
        "Are you a pretty little girl?" Smack.  
        "Yes, daddy."  
        "Are you a slutty little girl?" Smack.  
        "Yes, daddy," Snape weeped. Sirius gripped Snape's dick and squeezed, eliciting a pained pur from the potion's master.  
        Sirius could feel himself quickly approaching climax, so he hit Snape in the same spot as before seven times and used yet another spell on Snape; "Compleo,"  
        Snape, with a moan, shot a load out, ten seconds before Sirius came deep inside of his ass.  
        "Oh, fuck," Sirius groaned as he panted and finished. He drew out of Snape and, without thinking it through, undid Snape's bindings and virtual gag.  
        Snape panted on the floor, glaring at Sirius, who sat against the wall once more, eyes closed. There was no way he was going to allow the Marauder to get out of this one unscathed...  
        Remus moaned as Tonks turned to ride him reverse cowgirl and girl her neck a break. Remus grabbed her hips as she spread his whore hole to its limit, and used aguamenti and a considerable amount of skill to fill him to the brim with water, then summoned a plug into his arse to keep it there. Remus clung to her needily, loving the feel of her, the beautiful suckling of her tight pussy. She was a goddess to Remus; she was a queen, his everything.  
        After Snape caught his breath, he discreetly pulled out his wand and used a spell-blocker and fulgari on Sirius, who glared in confusion at Snape. The Slytherin shoved the bound Gryffindor and dodged a kick before binding his legs as well, bent over in froggy position.  
        Snape grabbed Sirius by the hair and yanked. "You honestly thought I would let you do that and not repay you just as kindly?"  
        Sirius grinned like a dying man. "I was only hoping to avoid the plagiarized speech beforehand," he hissed.  
        "Plagiarized," spat Snape. "It's only plagiarization if-"  
        "Get on with it," snapped Sirius. "I'd like to be done with you as soon as possible. You don't deserve anything from me; not even what you just got."  
        "And why not?" asked Sirius coldly. "Because I'm a Slytherin? That's why your boyfriend hated me in the first place."  
        "It's definitely not in spite of you being a Slytherin," hissed Sirius.  
        Snape calculated for a long moment. "You hath disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my House, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies—and what’s your reason? I am a Slytherin. Hath not a Slytherin eyes? Hath not a Slytherin hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Gryffindor is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Slytherin wrong a Gryffindor, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Gryffindor wrong a Slytherin, what should his sufferance be by Gryffindor example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute—and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction."(Shakespeare quote (Merchant of Venice, Act 3, Scene 1, Shylock to Salarino/Salanio [name differs by version])  
        Sirius rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I have no idea what you just said."  
        "Read a book! Ever!" Snape exclaimed, and Sirius grinned widely.  
        Tonks cooed happily as Remus licked and nibbled at her neck, kissed and suckled. She was grinding against him, hard, and he loved it; he loved everything she ever did to him, if only because she did it. His eyes were glued to the magical screen, however, and his chest fluttered at the opportunity to watch Sirius get reamed; the only person Sirius had ever let top him was James, and they'd never let anyone watch. He'd be so tight by now...  
        Snape pressed his thumbs into Sirius' arse without lube or spit, and Sirius hissed as the familiar burn echoed in his cheeks. Snape pried his virtually unused hole open, presumably wide enough for his prick, and Sirius hissed breaths in.  
        "A virgin?" Snape mocked cruelly. "How unexpected."

        Sirius gritted his teeth but did not correct the man. "This will be rather uncomfortable for you, then, Siri," Sirius growled at the use of his familial nickname; the thing he'd been called by his parents, cousins, and Regulus as a child. He hated it probably as much as Snape hated being called Snivellus, and was far less used to it's usage. Snape bared his teeth in a smile-esque expression.  
        Snape muttered a spell to make certain he didn't feel the pain of a dry penetration, and smeared his dick with a very thin layer of saliva before diving his ten inch, rather thin prick deep into Sirius.  
        Sirius gasped at the immense pain that was entirely indescribable, entirely debilitating, and shuddered and groaned out in pain. Snape mocked him while he pounded Sirius even more cruelly than the latter had done to the former, until Sirius' arse had worked up a sufficiently lubrication of whatever that clear, gel-like substance was as well as just enough blood to tint it pink. That didn't ease the pain of what felt like a million little paper cuts on his inner walls; in fact, he was now only more aware of them. His face was pressed harshly against the splintering wood and Snape grabbed Sirius' long, curly hair and yanked him up. He conjured a pretty, slutty dress onto Sirius' body and used Dark magic to make breasts grow upon his chest, then one to add makeup to his face, and then he summoned a mirror for Sirius to watch.  
        It was an odd sight. Sirius resembled Bellatrix a lot more though, with less makeup and lighter eyes, as well as stubble and the masculinity that lined his jaw. The fury in his eyes, however, was pure, and the hatred added even more to the resemblance to his cousin. Snape wore a face of resenting concentration as he slammed into the Gryffindor's supple ass. He was holding Sirius up by his hair- Sirius hated when people touched his hair- and digging too-long nails into his hip.  
        Tonks finally moaned loudly and shuddered against her boyfriend; she came magnificently against Remus' prick and he gasped, being brought dangerously close to his own finish.  
        "May I come," Remus begged.  
        "Pardon me?" Tonks teased.  
        "May I please come, Mistress?"  
        "Louder,"  
        "May I please come Mistress!?"  
        "Louuuderrrr," Tonks giggled.  
        "MAY I PLEASE COME, MISTRESS?!" Remus begged Tonks smiled and nodded, and Walburga Black's portrait opened just as Remus started shooting his load into Tonks.  
        "What in the bloody hell-!" she shrieked, but she couldn't see Remus and Tonks. She could, however, see her eldest son in a dress, getting fucked by Severus Snape, in her dining room.  
        Snape pulled out of Sirius, finally, and shoved the convict onto his face. Snape walked around and grabbed Sirius by the hair once more and heaved him up.  
        "If you put that in my mouth," Sirius growled. "I'll bite it off."  
        Snape laughed and wrenched Sirius' mouth open before bending over to get something from his robe pocket and shoving it to keep his mouth open; a potion phial with a dangerous silver liquid.  
        "Go ahead and bite. You'll get a mouth full of mercury cyanide and glass."  
        Sirius glared up at Snape as the latter shoved his dirty prick balls deep into Sirius' mouth.  
        Remus groaned as he finished his orgasm, listening to Mrs. Black's hateful words and watching Snape slam into Sirius' gullet with wild abandon.  
        Snape pounded harshly into Sirius' mouth until it ached. It felt like his jaw was breaking, and soon, tears started wetting his eyes, much to his chagrin. Snape laughed and mocked him, and when the tears started sliding down the Gryffindor's face, Snape wiped them with a patronizing laugh.  
        Snape came deep in Sirius' throat, and the latter man choked. However, Snape didn't pull out until he was finished. He did feel kind enough to take the poison vial with him, though, and Sirius sputtered and coughed as his head hit the floor. Snape dressed as Sirius spat curses at the Slytherin, trying unsuccessfully to cast some rather nasty spells at him, before the professor slipped out of the room, leaving Sirius bound.  
        Snape met eyes with the couple and raised his chin, ignoring the screaming banshee of a portrait, and cursed the couple. "Insanabilis cupiditas!" The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff duo moaned loudly and began to shag once more, becoming empty shells of people reduced to slapping against one another, until someone found the countercurse. Snape, chin still raised, flew out of 12 Grimmauld Place.  
        Sirius managed to wriggle free some hours later. He yanked off the ridiculous dress and put his own clothes on and stormed out to see his best mate and his second cousin pounding desperately into each other, to hear his mother screaming obscenities. He studied the shagging couple. "We should do that again sometime," Soon after, Kreacher walked in and blinked at him.  
        "Master Sirius," he said dully. "Kreacher thought you were out, and that is what Kreacher told Mister Harry Potter when he asked about you."  
        Sirius frowned. "Fix Remus and Tonks up," Sirius instructed. Kreacher snapped, and the curse was broken, and the couple collapsed into each other, panting heavily.  
        Fast forward something like an two or three hours, and Snape was duelling in the Department of Mysteries when Bellatrix cast a spell at Sirius that sent him flying back into the Veil. Harry Potter screamed, and Remus Lupin kept Harry from chasing after Bellatrix.  
        Snape paused for a moment and stared at death's curtain, Sirius' face still being in his mind, and wondered how much of this could have been avoided if Snape had undone Sirius' bindings.  
        Snape wondered what he felt, later that night, about having inadvertently caused Sirius Black's death, and found that he could not come up with a solid answer.


End file.
